What is Discipline?
In simple words, Discipline is to teach a child how to learn self control, to recognize the acceptable limits of behavior, to know the boundaries of where to stop. For this, a child does not need to put under harsh treatment or put him down, but he needs to be corrected, trained and nurtured. When they do something well, they should get plenty of compliments and praise. This does not mean that it will be sugar coated all the time. Sometimes it will be hard for kids to hear the truth about what they are doing. Discipline takes a firm and consistent hand in each child’s life.
So, Discipline is learning what to do, when to do it and in what manner it should be done.
Need of discipline
• Parents, have the primary responsibility to mould the character of children.
• Too much freedom should not be given out of excessive affection.
• Discipline helps them how to react to situations and in some cases how to behave to get along in the world.
• Instilling discipline in a child from a young age will help them learn correct behavior through self-restraint and behavior modification.
Methods of discipline
1.Who is an Authoritarian parent?
• Who relies on coercive techniques to discipline the child and displays a low level of nurturance.
• Uses Coercive techniques include threats or physical punishment.
• Places firm limits and controls on the child.
• Little verbal exchange between the parent and the child.
Its Effect on child
• Child does not exhibit a strong social responsibility or sense of independence.
• Appears anxious about social comparison.
• Does not initiate social activity.
• Displays poor communication skills.
• Boys—generally more aggressive.
• Girls—generally more dependent.
• In general appear unhappy.
2.Who is a Permissive parent?
• A parent who sets few limits on the child’s behavior.
• Makes few demands on mature behavior.
• Allows child to make own decisions about routine behaviors including TV viewing, bedtime and mealtimes.
• Is either moderately nurturant or cool and uninvolved
Its effect on the child
• Does not exhibit a strong social responsibility or sense of independence
• Displays low self-control.
• Displays low self-reliance
• Displays a tendency to expect to get his own ways.
3.Who is an Authoritative parent?
• A parent who sets limits on a child’s behavior using reasoning and explanation and displays a high degree of nurturance.
• Expects child to behave in a mature manner.
• Uses rewards more than punishments.
• Communicates expectations clearly and provides explanations to help the child understand the reasoning behind the expectations.
• Listens to what the child has to say.
• Encourages dialogue between the parent and child.
It’s Effects on the Child
• Child becomes Self-reliant.
• He is socially responsible.
• Is Friendly with peers.
• Is Cooperative with adults.
• Is Independent.
• Is Energetic.
• Is Achievement oriented.
• Has high degree of self-control
Why is authoritative discipline best?
1. Parent sets demands and guidelines on the child’s behaviors-
• Child is aware of the responsibilities individuals have toward one another when they live in social groups.
• Child is better equipped with an understanding of how to sort out the social world.
2. Parental demands are accompanied with reasonable explanations-
• Child is more likely to accept the limitations of his or her actions.
3. Parent takes child’s responses into account and shows affection toward the child-
• Child is likely to acquire a sense of control over his or her actions.
• Child is able to derive a sense of self worth.
Positive disciplining is often associated with Authoritative parenting. It is the positive middle ground between extreme “Permissive parenting”, on one side and “Authoritarian parenting” on the other.
When a child misbehaves:
•STOP……….Ask yourself, “What is happening and Why is it happening?”
•LOOK………Ask yourself, “What can I do about it?”
•LISTEN…….Ask yourself, “How can I prevent it from happening again?”
Techniques to promote Self Discipline in pre school children
Set limits with rules- Establishing house rules/class rules help kids understand your expectations and develop self-control. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.
• Tell the child what he or she should do rather than what they should not do!
• Keep explanations simple and brief, they have limited vocabulary and a limited attention span.
• Be prepared to repeat over and over to toddlers.
• The difficult hostile child is the one who needs love and guidance the most!
• Children repeat the actions they are praised for!
• Children give up any actions that are ignored by others
Be consistent-Discipline the same way every time that behavior occurs
Be fair-It may vary from one child to another.
Be firm-Stick to your rules.
Rewards-Reward the good behavior – don’t only notice the negative behavior.
Be immediate and direct with discipline and rewards
A hug or praise, helps a child regain self control
Set good examples and be the role model.
Discipline on the spot-the child may forget why he/she is being punished.
Take away privileges to promote desired behavior-especially with older children.
Discipline the behavior-not the child!
Consider the child’s age and ability.
Match the consequence with the misbehavior
• Remove the child from the misbehavior- This should give him time to think about the misbehavior.
• Reduce the attention he gets for misbehaving.
• Choose a place that is free of distractions.
• Time-outs should last approximately one minute per age of the child – For Example,four minutes for a 4-year-old.
• Do not use any kind of physical punishment
• Do not yell – talk to the child and explain why he or she should or should not do certain things.
• Parents should be in agreement about discipline or not be in disagreement in front of the child.
• Don’t severely criticize the child for the mistake that was made.
• Don’t use language or actions to berate the child, cutting them down by hurtful words.
• Don’t place blame for the improper actions. Condemning them to carry the guilt of the situation.
• Don’t scold intensely with the purpose of humiliating the child.